Killer Elephants and iBlister

We are on our way to India again. I'm on a raft outside of a house that is floating on the ocean. Our dog comes onto the back porch. He barks at us, but we can't come in yet. The elephant in the house will be trouble if we let him go in. So we feed him grapes to entertain him. The seal on the back porch likes them too and soon we find ourselves pitching them far into the house to keep the elephant from the doorway.

We run out of grapes and all three animals go into the house. Worried for the dog, we rush into the house to see that the dog is now a teenage boy. He seems pretty upset. When we walk into the lobby (the inside of the house is a resort lobby) there is a pool filled with bloodied water. The elephant has killed the seal.

More upsetting is the next room in which a group of missionaries has been killed. The killer tries to tell how he was saving them and is taken away.

The dog teen is having a meltdown and cuts into himself and begins praying. A nurse comes to his side and tries to calm him down.

After this we are in a tour of the place where the missionaries were killed. It is treated like a haunted house ghost story. They rig the pillows to turn bloody red at the end. But they ruin the scary scene by showing how they did it (Hint: it was science).

At the end of the tour we go to our room. There is a couple there who are our room servants. But as they go about their work, they keep changing between humans and elephants. Based on my early dream encounter with elephants, this means they are bad business. I don't like them.They are to sleep in hammocks above us. The man dresses in green pajamas and crawls into his hammock. This would be fine (constantly changing into an elephant aside) but his hammock is occupying the same space as it does on my bed! I complain. Mom tells me to get to sleep. When I lay down, his hammock disappears and there is plenty of room for me on the bed.

In the morning I reach for my Blackberry to find what DVDs I am missing from the last time I visited. I had almost a whole set of Star Wars DVDs. They weren't the six main movies. I believe they were just generic extra movies we have in dreamland. My phone has no internet and I have a blister on my thumb. This sucks. As usual, I cannot leave the thing be and pick at it. The next time I look down it is a big ugly infection over the whole top of my thumb.

It's disgusting. Even I know better than to mess with this grossocity. I tell dad and ask for an antiseptic. He puts his thumb out to show me a similar infection. Again I ask for an antiseptic. Dad tells me no, that to fight an infection such as this, we must use petunia water.

On the way to the lobby, I see something that looks like peroxide. Dad says no and pulls me to the breakfast area. Here he begins to put together what he call omelets, but appears to be soy butter, or a really light colored peanut butter. Dad covered a piece of bread in this, through a ton of grated ginger on and placed it into a sandwich maker.

This was not such an easy task for me. Bits of Dad's omelet was still in there. The lady running breakfast repremanded me for not cleaning it before using it. I do. But now it is a much more complicated device. It is an Eeyore breakfast playset? It contains a tiny tree fridge which couldn't possibly cool more than a few eggs or a yogurt.

But alas! The damned thing was made. I check out my freaky blister. The white puss (sorry guys, it was pretty nastastic in my dream) looked like it had a pattern. Upon closer inspection, it was a map of city streets. I look around for someone to tell, but I look down and see my blister is now an iPhone screen. I sit down with my omelet and try to figure out what this weird blister is all about.

The man next to me is upset. A killer is threatening to kill his wife if he doesn't get saved. His wife is rescued and he goes back to helping the orphans. He is getting interviewed by news crews beside me. I've forgotten all about my iBlister.

It started raining when I woke up.